Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize