Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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