I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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