this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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