help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
