I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
