I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize