Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
