Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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