You're my little dorito
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
