glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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