What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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