Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
