You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
as a side note pls kill me
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
