yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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