It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
