Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
