dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
