yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
