Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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