I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
