she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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