just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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