I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
