Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
