I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
