Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize