he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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