How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize