Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
try to milk me bitch
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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