don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
