HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
