I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
