come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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