Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
