I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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