just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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