If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
