My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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