We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
