I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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