Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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