I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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