ugly people sure do ruin things
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
