I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
