I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
