if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
