And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
