I will die if light touches me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
