I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
