I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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