and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
