high people should be assigned attendants
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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