I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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