My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
