how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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