Dude my mom stole all your condoms
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
