So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
