so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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