thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
