they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
