one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
