I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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