There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
